Managing Social Anxiety at the Holiday Gaming Table

The holidays are here, and for many of us that means one beautiful thing: more time at the gaming table with family and friends. It also means crowded tables, new players, alcohol, loud laughter, and sometimes that one uncle who takes everything way too seriously. For anyone who lives with social anxiety, the same event that feels magical to others can feel like walking into a boss fight with no armor.

You’re not broken, you’re not “bad at people,” and you definitely don’t have to skip the fun. Here are some practical, tabletop-tested strategies that have helped hundreds of anxious gamers survive—and actually enjoy—holiday game nights.

Before the Session

1. Set the expectation early If you’re hosting, add a line to the invite: “Feel free to step away anytime—no explanation needed.” Normalizing breaks removes the stigma for everyone.

2. Bring a comfort item (disguised as a prop) A favorite set of dice, a small fidget toy that looks like a mini, or even your character’s “lucky coin” gives your hands something to do when the spotlight swings your way.

3. Prep one “safe” topic: Have a short, low-pressure story ready (a funny thing your pet did, a cool new game you saw). It’s an emergency escape hatch when someone asks, “So what’s new with you?”

4. Choose your seat wisely Corner seats = fewer eyes on you. Near the bathroom or kitchen = easy excuse to stand up and move.

   
   

At the Table

5. Using the character as a shield Roleplaying gives you permission to be bold, quiet, sarcastic, or theatrical—whatever feels safer than being “yourself.” Lean into it. Most groups love when someone really inhabits their character.

6. Signal when you need a breather.

7. Script a graceful exit line. Memorize one sentence you can say without thinking: “I’m going to grab some water and stretch—keep going, I’ll be right back.” It’s polite, it’s believable, and nobody will question it.

8. Reframe the inner monologue Instead of “Everyone is judging me,” try “Most people here are worried about their own character sheets.” It’s usually true.

9. Pair up with an ally if there’s at least one person you trust, a quick pre-game text (“Hey, if I get overwhelmed can you throw the spotlight back to you for a bit?”) works wonders.

   
   

After the Game

10. Decompress your way. Some of us need total silence, others want to text a friend and word-vomit about the session. Know what recharges you and protect that time.

11. Celebrate the win—even if it felt small. You showed up. You rolled dice with people. That counts. Anxiety lies and tells us we “barely survived.” Call its bluff and give yourself credit.

    
    

A Final Note

Holiday tables are chaotic, messy, and full of love—usually all at once. Your anxiety is just trying to keep you safe; it doesn’t get the memo that this particular “threat” is a room full of people who are genuinely happy you’re there.

You belong at the table. Full stop.

If you ever need extra tools or just want to vent about that time your cousin crit-failed a persuasion check and started a two-hour argument, the Roll2Heal community is here. Drop into our Discord, send us a message, or read more on the blog. You’re never rolling alone.

Happy holidays, and may all your saving throws be Nat 20s (especially the mental ones).